10 Stages of a Parrot Head

1. Jimmy Who... Who the hell is Buffett, oh that guy who did (choose one)
a. Margaritaville
b. Cheeseburger in Paradise
c. Why don't We Get Drunk and Screw.
(Spells Buffett with one "t")

2. Oh it's with two "t's";
Buys "Songs You Know by Heart" because he heard "that one song" at a party.
Starts hearing all about the wild concerts and openly declares to the world that he/she is a parrot head.
Goes out and buys that Hawaiian shirt they wanted all their life, or at least since last week

3. Look at me, I'm a parrot head.
Goes to a Jimmy Buffett concert and is amazed by all things parrothead. Loved the show but can't remember any of it through the alcoholic haze.

4. One Particular Parrot
Decides they should buy a few more albums so that the old timers will stop laughing at them when Jimmy plays "One Particular Harbour" and he/she says "that's a great song, I've never heard it."

5. Domino College
Buys the box set so they don't have to buy all the old albums. Still gets laughed at or ignored because they've never heard "Migration", and "Cowboy", The good news is she/he knows "Fins" well enough to move his/her hands the right way at the concert.

6. Buffett is God
Starts collecting the albums, buys a couple more Hawaiian shirts, maybe even a coconut bra. Has two concert tees, and a subscription to the Coconut Telegraph. Suddenly has a burning need to find out all that is Buffett. Considers Buffett to be GOD, 'though they've never heard the song "God's Own Drunk". Actually believes Buffett is a beach bum.
NOTE: Some people never get passed this stage...

7. Say it Ain't so Jimmy.
Is reading everything there is on Buffett and is getting a little disillusioned. They are closing their ears and screaming "say it ain't so" when people criticize their "hero". No one stays at this stage for very long They either punt and return to Stage 6 or move to Stage 8.

8. Screw Buffett...
Accuse Buffett of being a heretic, Accuse him of selling out ... and all the concerts sound the same...Screw Buffett; This is also a dead end stage for many fans. Cancel subscription to CT, complains about concerts and new records and every other money grubbing venture Mr. Margaritaville is wrapped up in. Hates it when his/her non parrothead friends label him/her a parrot head.

9. My name is ...... and I listen to Buffett music.
Comes to the realization that Buffett is human, and deals with it, with the help of other Buffett fans or some internal strength. Understands the myth, and to some degree, the man who created it and finds compromise somewhere between stage 6 and stage 8. Can't buy anymore albums because they have them all, already. Enjoys the music for what it represents, which is why they bought it in the first place and ignore all the other bullshit as best as possible, without forsaking their own moral standards.

10. If you reach stage nine and still continuously listen to Buffett and enjoy the concerts and the lifestyle....you, my friend, are a Parrothead.

                                                                                                  --Parrot Heads for the Palm Beaches